Introverts Are Not Bad at Networking: We Just Do It Differently

How I overcame my fear of networking

Speaking up always used to terrify me. The thought of walking into a room full of strangers or even classmates used to make me anxious. I would sit quietly, observing, my mind racing with the fear of judgment: What if I say the wrong thing? What if no one notices me? What if I just make a fool of myself?

As a reserved person, networking always felt like something that was just not for me. But, over the past few years, I have learned that being reserved doesn’t mean being invisible; it just requires a different approach. You might not be the loudest in the room, but you are building connections that actually matter.

Step 1: The Shift of Mindset

My first step was admitting to myself that my introvert nature was not my limitation. Instead, a superpower which allowed me to notice details and ask thoughtful questions. It is like standing at the start of a maze: daunting at first, but you know that getting through it would be meaningful, and if I wanted to grow personally and professionally, I needed to face this fear head-on.

Step 2: Small Steps, Big Changes

What actually used to stop me from going and expressing myself was my own comfort zone. The fear of speaking up used to make me so anxious that I could hardly sleep or eat before an event or even a classroom presentation. But deep down, I knew that if I stayed in that space, my dreams would remain just dreams.

So, I started small. In fact, I started by reflecting on myself on pen and paper, which gradually gave me the spark that if I can write it, I can speak it. My first goal was not to ‘network’ but simply to speak up and talk. Instead of attending big conferences or even meetups and workshops, I decided to raise my hand in the classroom and contribute to discussions, and that is where the transformation began.

Step 3: Progression along the way

I knew networking was my weakness. My first few workshops, events, and conferences usually started with a greeting, a short introduction and an awkward silence afterwards. But as they say, practice makes you better, and so I decided to learn the art of networking through videos, articles, and was fortunate enough to find a mentor, who helped me develop my personal brand and showed me that networking is not just about interacting, it is about being authentic and in the moment.

Now, after attending multiple networking events, speaking on panels, and delivering presentations and speeches, the conversation flows naturally. I have finally gained the confidence that building connections is possible, even for someone like me, and this small change of mindset has led to brighter results.

Tips that actually worked for me, and I recommend

1. Conversion starters: While it is always best to be present in the moment, having a few conversation starters in mind helps break the ice. Simple questions like ‘What brought you to this event?’ or asking about their background can open natural, engaging discussions.

2. Research and Prepare: Before the event/conference, if you know who will be attending and if there is something that particularly interests you, take time to research the people or companies beforehand. This not only makes conversations smoother but also eases the anxiety of not knowing what to ask. Preparation builds your confidence and shows genuine interest.

3. Leverage Your Strengths: I have seen Hong Lee 陳芳吟 share this multiple times. Networking is not just about talking; it is equally about listening, showing empathy, and being engaged. People remember conversations that feel authentic and meaningful, not just generic or one-sided ones. Focus on making your interactions resonate and be remembered.

4. Follow Up: Networking doesn’t end when the event does. A thoughtful follow-up helps strengthen the connection. I did it a bit differently than usual. Instead of sending a LinkedIn request on the spot, I found it more effective to wait until the next day and draft a personalised message that referred back to our conversation. This not only reminded them of our interaction but also showed that I was interested in building a genuine connection.

   
   

Looking Back, Moving Forward

Though I am sharing these tips and tricks, I will not call myself a pro at networking. I am still learning and improving day by day. There are moments when I feel that familiar anxiousness and the ‘what if’ thoughts before walking into an event. But now I have a remedy: I take a deep breath, affirm my belief in myself, and reflect on how far I have come, and trust me, it actually helps.

From the girl I was two years ago, terrified of speaking up, to the person I am today, passionate about building connections, expressing myself, and taking leadership roles, I know I have come a long way. Small steps really do lead to big changes!

To all the introverts and shy dreamers out there, if I can do it, you can do it too. Step out, speak up, build your brand, and create connections that truly matter, because, in the end, it is your life, and no one’s judgment can define it.